Camp Happy Pants
by TheHineyGods
Summary: [complete] Yoh, Manta, Ren, Horo, Ryu, Lyserg, and Chocolove attend Camp Happy Pants and are assigned to the infamous Troop 69, with Hao as their 8th troop member. With Nichrome's troop as their rivals and a ton of bad luck, what's to become of Troop 69?
1. Prologue

Okay, no long authors' note here. Just a few things to say about the fic...  
  
We have no clue how long this is going to be. Some characters may seem a bit OOC, but, hey, it's humor, so who cares? Beware of shounen-ai content [ 'MOM,' or 'male on male,' content ] and some pervertedness. Also, neither of us have been to camp, probably due to the fact that we live in a lame little fishing community, so don't blame us if some of the stuff that goes on isn't accurate. ^__^; We do try our best.  
  
Disclaimer - Mankin isn't ours! Really, I mean it... -shifty glance- Becky does own the acronym 'MOM' though. ^__^;; -points up to authors' note-  
  
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Camp Happy Pants  
  
By I Club Baby Seals and Bo Jangles [ a.k.a. TheHineyGods ]  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
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No return address. Yoh flipped the envelope over in his hands. Still no return address.  
  
Said envelope was a blank white except for 'Yoh Asakura' along with the address scribbled on the front and a little sticker sealing the flap shut on the back. Shrugging, Yoh pulled at the sticker and opened the envelope then removed the two sheets of paper inside.  
  
He unfolded the first paper and began to read it.  
  
'Dearest Yoh Asakura,' it began. His name was scrawled carelessly into a blank beside the first word.  
  
'We are pleased to inform you that you have been invited to enjoy the experience of a month-long stay at Camp Happy Pants. Our summer camp offers an exciting variety of activities, from arts and crafts to swimming in the camp lake.'  
  
The rest of the letter gave instructions on signing up and an address to mail the completed form to. It was signed 'Your friends at Camp Happy Pants.'  
  
"Summer camp sounds like fun," he commented to himself with a chuckle.  
  
  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You signed us up for summer camp?"  
  
"Kisama!"  
  
Confused and enraged remarks came from the Asakura household.  
  
Yoh, Manta, Ren, Horo Horo, Chocolove, Ryu, and Lyserg were sitting around the tea table, all rather cramped. They were staring -- or, in some cases, glaring -- at Yoh, who held up his hands defensively, smiling.  
  
"C'mon... it'll be fun," he said, looking around at the others. "After all, it can't be too bad, with a name like Camp Happy Pants."  
  
Ren's hair twitched. "This," he growled, "is not funny."  
  
Aside from Ren's the other reactions were fairly positive. Manta, Horo, and Chocolove didn't seem too ruffled by the idea of spending a month at a place called Camp Happy Pants, and Ryu was willing to go anywhere Yoh would. Lyserg, on the other hand, didn't seem like he had been paying much attention. He was offhandedly muttering something about Hao and his parents.  
  
"It's okay, Lyserg," Yoh reassured him. "I promise that Hao won't be there." Lyserg nodded in response.  
  
"Well, then, we're to meet at the bus stop at five a.m. sharp on Saturday," Yoh announced happily with a clap of his hands.  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
  
  
The fateful Saturday rolled around a little too soon for the likes of Ren. As he made his way to the crowded bus stop, he grumbled unhappily.   
  
"Good morning, Ren!" Yoh greeted the least happy camper.  
  
"This is not funny," Ren muttered in return, dragging himself to the full bench. He glared at Horo, Manta, and Ryu, the three snoozing occupants. With a single swipe of his kwan dao, Ren had rendered the bench legless and occupants wide awake. He grinned and moved on.  
  
As Chocolove attempted to cheer Lyserg up, and Ren glowered at Chocolove, the bus pulled up. But this was no normal bus. This was the Camp Happy Pants bus.  
  
The front hood had a pair of pants with a smiley face painted on it. On the sides of the bus, the words 'Funbari Prison Bus' had been crossed out to make room for 'Camp Happy Pants.' The windows were adorned with bars that, apparently, hadn't been removed between the prison-to-camp switch.  
  
The door squeaked open and a tubby man wearing a shirt that seemed incapable of covering his belly button climbed out.  
  
"You the Camp Happy Pants crew?" he grunted, scratching his butt. The group took this cue to look at Yoh, who glanced around, grinned, and nodded.  
  
"Good. Climb on. Luggage on the floor, under your seats. One person to a seat. And no one sits in the seats directly behind the driver," the fat man rattled off.  
  
Soon after, the seven soon-to-be campers had seated themselves and were on their way to camp.  
  
  
  
Three hours, five rest stops, and one spare tire later, they turned onto a small dirt road. As the bus ride went from bumpy to bumpier, the sleeping passengers were jolted awake.  
  
Horo, who had been singing '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,' jumped up in his seat.  
  
"Camp! We're at camp!" he screeched, bouncing around in his seat.  
  
"SIT DOWN!" Frank, the angry bus driver, yelled. Horo reseated himself and pressed his face against the window.  
  
Glazed eyes watched a large wooden sign reading 'Welcome Campers' pass over the bus. As the end of the bus made its way under the sign, the W from 'Welcome' broke from its spot and plummeted to the dirt below.  
  
Yep, they had arrived at Camp Happy Pants.  
  
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To Be Continued!  
  
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Well, the prologue's done! And, hey, we posted chapter one, too, so you can read it if you like what you see. ^__^ Go ahead, read it and review! Feel free to give ideas, point out any typos or errors that I didn't catch, or even flame. We think flames are funny. XD 


	2. Troop 69

You're still reading? GREAT! ^__^ Without further ado, chapter one!  
  
Disclaimer - If we owned Shaman King, the other characters would've teased Lyserg for his X-Laws shorts. But they didn't, so we don't own it, do we?  
  
-  
  
Camp Happy Pants  
  
By I Club Baby Seals and Bo Jangles [ a.k.a. TheHineyGods ]  
  
  
  
Chapter One - 'Troop 69'  
  
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The bus grinded to a halt soon after entering the camp, and Frank ushered them out.  
  
"Get offa my bus, you little brats," he ordered, pushing Horo off and returning to his seat. The door quickly closed and the bus sped away.  
  
"We're at camp!" Horo yelled again ecstatically.  
  
"Yeah, we are," Manta agreed, "but where do we go now?"  
  
"Over there," Yoh answered with a grin, pointing to where a large group of kids was gathered around a stage of sorts. The seven boys joined the crowd, and a man walked onto the stage to address the chatting campers.  
  
"Welcome to Camp Happy Pants!" he exclaimed, causing a hush to fall upon the crowd. He was wearing a Boy Scoutish outfit marked with what they had come to the conclusion to be the camp logo -- a smiling pair of pants -- on the sleeve of the shirt and the butt of the pants.  
  
"Here at camp, you'll be divided into ten troops of eight, and each troop will have a leader. You troop leader will tell you the rules, show you your assigned cabin, and give you a tour of the camp grounds.  
  
"Before we divide you, I'd like to say that tonight we're having Happy Hour by the --""  
  
"Free drinks!" Horo shouted from the depths of the crowd.  
  
"-- bonfire, where we'll tell jokes, eat snacks, and have a good time."  
  
Horo kicked the ground. "Darn."  
  
The man went on to divide them into troops by calling out names. Nine troops and seventy-two campers later, Yoh-tachi still had not been assigned. The man looked down at his paper.  
  
"The remaining eight will be assigned to Troop 69."  
  
Yoh looked around. If they were seven, who was the last member of their troop?  
  
"Oh, wow," a voice from not too far away mused. "Fancy meeting you here." They turned to see Hao standing behind them, a duffel bag hanging loosely at his side.  
  
"Hao!" they yelled in unison. Lyserg added on to this by continuing with, "You killed my parents!"  
  
"Nice to see you, too," he responded. "I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here. Well, I've always wanted to go to summer camp, and this seemed like a nice opportunity."  
  
Before they could converse farther, someone else joined their little group.  
  
"Hello, I'll be your troop leader here at Camp Happy Pants," the newcomer said. They all gasped. "Oh, hi, Yoh-kun."  
  
"Silva? What're you doing here? Why are you a troop leader at Camp Happy Pants?"  
  
Silva then launched into the story of Camp Happy Pants. "Well, the Patch tribe decided to buy this old camp and turn it into one for their own profit. The ten priests became the troop leaders, and --"  
  
Ren cut him off. "Why do the troop numbers skip from nine to 69?"  
  
"We used to have 69 troops in total, but the cabins -- along with the campers -- for troops ten through 68 were destroyed in an unfortunate mudslide. We didn't have enough funds to rebuild those cabins, so we just kept one through nine and 69," Silva explained.  
  
Horo snickered. "Troop 69... 69."  
  
"What's so funny?" Ren asked, annoyed, in a suggesting manner.  
  
"When you flip 69 over, it's still 69!" Horo replied through snickers. Everyone gave him lame looks.  
  
"I think it's about time I gave the tour of the camp," Silva decided, and he led everyone off toward the lake.  
  
  
  
"This is Lake Happy Pants. It has been said that a creature inhabits the depths of the lake, only surfacing on the night of the second Tuesday of every month," Silva explained, wiggling his fingers and 'ooh'ing for effect.  
  
The eight stared blankly at Silva before he cleared his throat and continued the tour. He led them on, toward a large hole near the lake.  
  
"This is the mud pit," Silva stated, pointing down into the hole.  
  
Horo looked down before noting, "There's no mud in here." Silva sighed, glanced around, then leaned next to Horo's ear.  
  
"When it rains, the hole gets muddy. Then we get the boys -- you guys -- to wrestle... naked... in it. And we place bets and take pictures. But you didn't hear that from me. If anybody asks, Faust has been telling people that when they pass by the infirmary."  
  
"I really didn't need to hear that," Chocolove moaned, backing away from Silva.  
  
"Yeah... well... Let's go," he said, dragging Troop 69 onward. As they headed toward the archery field, Troop Eight -- led by Nichrome -- passed.  
  
"Look, it's Troop 69," Nichrome taunted. He stuck his finger in Ren's face, wiggling it, as his troop laughed.  
  
"Back off, Nichrome," Silva warned, glaring. He merely smiled.  
  
"See you on the battlefield... I mean... campgrounds," one member of Troop Eight drawled as the two troops parted.  
  
"Don't let him get to you, Silva. We'll be the best troop... and we'll beat them at mud wrestling," Yoh comforted, patting Silva's arm.  
  
"Thanks. Now, this is the archery field. And over yonder is the infirmary, where Faust is. We won't visit it now because I've heard he's rather partial to Manta..."  
  
Manta cringed at the last remark but said nothing as they continued. They walked past the canoe dock and stopped in front of a rickety building labeled 'Arts and Crafts.' Silva opened the door and allowed them to file into the dimly lit shack.  
  
"This is where you will get your fill of the artsy and the craftsy," Silva said, motioning around at the picnic tables that held objects such as glue, popsicle sticks, colored paper, scissors, and glitter on their tops.  
  
At a table in the corner, Amidamaru, Bason, Spirit of Fire, and Tokageroh sat. Yoh's dad stood over them, instructing the group on how to make stick art.  
  
As Troop 69 turned to leave, Spirit of Fire let out an unhappy roar.  
  
"Go to the time out corner and don't come back until you can stop burning the popsicle sticks," Yoh's dad scolded, pointing to the corner farthest from them.  
  
"Let's move on," Silva muttered, shuffling his troop out of the door.  
  
The tour progressed up the east bank of the lake, up toward the cabins.  
  
"These are the cabins," Silva stated, pointing to the nine spacious cabins to their right.  
  
"Wow," Horo marveled, then asked, "Which one is ours?"  
  
Silva shifted a bit then replied with, "None of them. Cabin 69 is down past the Mess Hall."  
  
"Mess Hall? This place has somewhere that we purposely make a mess?" Horo said excitedly, earning more lame looks from the rest of Troop 69.  
  
"Off to our right is the forest," Silva continued by unnecessarily gesturing to the trees in the general direction of left. He then turned them around and led them back down, stopping briefly to show them the Mess Hall and explain to Horo that it was a place for eating rather than making messes.  
  
The troop traveled even farther down, into another forest.  
  
"Where're we going?" Everyone grumbled, seeing as Manta's question had voiced all of their thoughts -- except Lyserg's. He was glaring hatefully at Hao, and something along the lines of 'Hao killed my parents' was probably running through his mind.  
  
"To Cabin 69," Silva answered simply. The troop shot each other questioning glances as they went on trekking through the brush.  
  
For the following minutes, nothing exciting happened. They made small talk, Lyserg tripped over a tree root, and many an article of clothes were ripped on branches. Everyone was more than a little annoyed when, about 1500 yards away from the camp, Silva spoke up.  
  
"Here we are," he announced, pushing a tree limb out of the way and stepping over some bushes.  
  
In a tiny clearing, overgrown with plants, stood Cabin 69. Unlike the other cabins, it was not at all spacious nor was it well-built. The one window they could see had a broken pane of glass and was boarded up from the inside. Huge chunks of wood were missing from the roof, and the doorstep was littered with bones -- none of them human, as far as they could tell.  
  
If there was any doubt in their minds as to if they were in the right place, it was instantly diminished once Silva said, "Welcome to Cabin 69."  
  
Troop 69 screamed.  
  
-  
  
To Be Continued!  
  
-  
  
Poor Troop 69... condemned to a crappy cabin and a mean rival troop. Anyway, next chapter should be up soon, since we already have part of it written, and Christmas break is coming up, so no school to delay us. Exams shouldn't slow anything down... hopefully.  
  
Review, please! ^__^ 


	3. Meeting Troop Eight

Sorry it took so long to update. We're lazy. Well, Merry Christmas, minna-san! Here's the next chapter.  
  
I put a shounen-ai warning, but there isn't any at the moment. There may not be any at the rate we're going... so, you know... yeah...   
  
Disclaimer: We no own. Leave us 'lone. ;; -slaps Becky for her crappy rhyming disclaimer-  
  
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Camp Happy Pants  
  
By I R PinkCake and Bo Jangles [ a.k.a. TheHineyGods ]  
  
  
  
Chapter Two - 'Meeting Troop Eight'  
  
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Troop 69 marched into the cabin. They screamed... again. The inside of the cabin was as bad as the outside.  
  
Vines wound their way up the posts of the four bunk bed. Weeds were sprouting through the floor boards near the door.  
  
"This cabin sucks," Horo complained, earning nods from the rest of the troop. As everyone voiced their opinion on how bad the cabin was, Lyserg sat on one of the bottom bunks.  
  
"I think I'll take this bunk... and burn it," Hao said mockingly, appearing in front of Lyserg.  
  
"You killed my parents!" Lyserg screeched, lunging at Hao. Ryu grabbed Lyserg around the waist as he flew at Hao, who was smiling merrily at them.  
  
"No use in attacking him. You can sleep on the bed above mine..." Ryu kept talking as he dragged Lyserg across the crumbling cabin to the bed farthest away from Hao.  
  
As the rest of the group picked beds -- Horo above Ren, Hao above Yoh, and Chocolove above Manta -- Silva opened a large box and began removing clothes from it.  
  
"What's that?" Chocolove asked, watching Silva remove pair after pair of matching shorts.  
  
"Your uniforms," he replied, pulling a large stack of shirts from the box. He handed out the outfits, which consisted of a white button-down shirt, a pair of dark green shorts, knee-high socks, and ugly brown shoes. When Silva got to Lyserg, he sighed.  
  
"All I have left is this tiny pair of shorts. They must have given me the wrong size. Sorry," he apologized, handing Lyserg the extremely short shorts.  
  
No one bothered to voice any complaints as they changed into their camp uniforms, though many a grumble could be heard. Once finished, Silva told them they could take a break before heading to the welcoming ceremony.  
  
Said break ended up being nothing more than the troop members sitting on their bunks, wallowing in self-pity at their bad fortune. Silva had left the building to do who-knows-what, leaving them alone for a while.  
  
"This cabin sucks. This uniform sucks. This camp sucks," Horo went on as he lay on his bed, ticking off all of the crappy things they'd encountered so far.  
  
"Kisama," Ren growled from the bunk below his, "shut up."  
  
"Ren's attitude sucks..." Horo yelped and jumped up when the point of Ren's kwan dao pierced through the thin wood and mattress of his bunk. Both boys were in a loud argument, most of the others trying to calm them down, when Silva ran in, holding a pointed stick as if he was ready for battle.  
  
Everyone quieted and turned to stare at him. He glanced around and put the stick down, saying, "Sorry, I figured it was a snake or something that you were yelling about. That tends to happen often."  
  
Wary looks were cast at the cabin floor as those on the bottom bunks pulled up their feet from it.  
  
"Anyway, the ceremony's going to start soon, so let's go," Silva announced, motioning for them to follow him.  
  
  
  
Surprisingly, they weren't the last troop to arrive at the welcoming ceremony, which was being held where they had first been assigned to Troop 69. This was probably because Silva had made them leave so early.  
  
Once all of the troops were present, the same man who had greeted the crowd when the first arrived at the camp returned to the stage.  
  
"How is everyone enjoying their first day of camp?" he asked happily. Most of the crowd responded with enthusiastic screams. Troop 69 gave each other looks.  
  
"That's great! Now, I'd like to welcome you to Camp Happy Pants once again.  
  
"Here at the welcoming ceremony, I'll introduce the troop leaders and tell the story of Camp Happy Pants. Let's begin," he said, and the ten troop leaders lined up on the stage. Troop 69 could see Nichrome making faces at Silva from a few spots down the row.  
  
The leaders were introduced one by one then returned to their respective troops once it was done.  
  
"Okay, gather around, and let me tell the tale of how the camp came to be." The crowd shuffled closer, and Troop 69 had to be unwillingly ushered forward by Silva.  
  
"Once upon a time," the man began, "there was a tribe with ten priests. The tribe wasn't very good at making money, and had to get by with their little village in which they sold overpriced food and cheap crafts.  
  
"Then, one day, they happened to gain possession of a sickly little camp and turned it into the presently named Camp Happy Pants. The camp saw many hardships, such as the mudslide that wiped out almost all of the cabins and the plague of locusts that mangled the arts and crafts building.  
  
"The camp still managed to survive and is doing very nicely to this day, as you can see... and that's about it!" The crowd cheered, but it was still heard when someone shouted out.  
  
"How could there be a mudslide if there're no mountains around here?"  
  
The announcer glanced around unsurely then grinned and went on. "Well then, I believe that's it! Everyone's free to mingle and leave whenever they feel. But, remember, stay with your troop." He walked off the stage and disappeared from sight.  
  
'Mingling' wasn't exactly what Troop 69 had in mind, and they were about to head off when Troop Eight cut them off.  
  
"Well, I suppose we all know who the whore of Troop 69 is, don't we?" Nichrome remarked snidely, eyeing Lyserg's shorts with a smirk. His troop snickered.  
  
"Lyserg isn't a whore!" Ryu cried, stepping in front of Lyserg to block him from Troop Eight's view.  
  
"Don't worry, we don't want him. We just wanted to introduce ourselves before we beat the snot out of you guys in the mud pit," said the outspoken troop member.  
  
"Now, now. Spike, you shouldn't jump to such conclusions. Just because Silva's team consists of a whore, a bum, a munchkin, an idiot, a kid with a serious cowlick, a guy that's WAY too old to be here, some weird kid in a dress, and an extremely pretty long-haired boy doesn't mean that he's meant to lose. Oh, wait... yes, it does!" Nichrome screeched happily, earning scowls from most of Troop 69 and earsplitting screams of laughter from his own troop.  
  
As Silva turned to lead his troop back to their cabin, Nichrome grew serious. He looked Silva directly in the eye, brought his hand up to his neck, and used a single finger to draw a line across it. He then pointed to Silva and Troop 69.  
  
This motion pushed Ren to his breaking point. He called out for Bason as he stepped to the front of the group. But when his spirit appeared behind him, Troop Eight did not gasp in horror. Instead, they began to giggle.  
  
"Kisamara! What's so funny?!" Ren demanded. To his surprise, his own troop was also laughing. Upon turning around, what they were laughing at became miserably apparent.  
  
There was Bason, floating gloriously above Ren, in a frilly pink apron.  
  
"We were in the middle of cooking class, young master," Bason explained as Troop Eight rolled on the ground behind Ren, all holding their stomachs because of the laughter.  
  
At this, Silva put his hand on Ren's back and led him, and the rest of Troop 69, back to the cabin.  
  
-  
  
Where's your holiday spirit? Review! 


	4. The Obstacle Course

Disclaimer . We don't own Mankin!  
  
Wow, a long chapter... by the way, shounen-ai has started, if only a little bit. Not much else to say.  
  
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Camp Happy Pants  
  
By I R PinkCake and Bo Jangles [ a.k.a. TheHineyGods ]  
  
  
  
Chapter Three - 'The Obstacle Course'  
  
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"It's okay, Ren. Public humiliation isn't that bad," Horo comforted, putting his arm around Ren's shoulder.  
  
"Especially when it's in front of the enemy. That's the best time for it," Hao remarked, putting his arm around Ren's other shoulder. Horo leaned back and glared at Hao for ruining 'Plan Seduce Ren.'  
  
The group soon arrived at their cabin. Silva unlocked the door, which promptly fell to the floor due to a mysterious loss of hinges, and allowed everyone in.  
  
"Okay, I think you should all get some shut eye. Tomorrow, at five thirty, we go to the obstacle course," Silva announced.  
  
Troop 69 moaned when they realized he was referring to five thirty in the morning.  
  
Everyone climbed into bed, the lights were shut off, and snoring soon followed.  
  
Lyserg sat up and looked around from his perch above Ryu. Across the room, he could make out Hao, staring at him.  
  
"What... parent killer?!" Lyserg asked angrily.  
  
Hao raised his hands in front of his face and, wiggling his fingers, mouthed the words 'burned your parents' to him.  
  
Lyserg clenched his fists, but ignored his initial thoughts about murdering Hao right there. He merely turned to face the wall and, after some time, fell asleep.  
  
  
  
Morning came all too soon for Troop 69. They were all reluctantly dragged out of bed and forced into dressing in their camp clothes, all the while groaning and rubbing at their eyes.  
  
"What time is it?" Horo moaned sleepily as they got dressed. In his half-awake state, he pulled on his shorts, stumbling, colliding with Ren, and almost getting his head bitten off by the irate Chinese boy in the process.  
  
"It's four in the morning!" Silva answered happily, getting a chorus of sighs in response.  
  
"Why are we up this early? I thought that you said that we are supposed to be at the obstacle course for five thirty," Manta said while he pulled at his shorts, which were pooling around his feet since they were the same length as everyone else's.  
  
"Well, you want to eat, don't you?" Silva grabbed the door, which he had put up in the frame again for the night, and pulled it off. He set it against the wall and motioned for his troop to follow.  
  
As they hiked through the dark abyss that is four a.m., they barely had the energy to complain. Yoh was practically asleep on his feet, Chocolove was too tired to even attempt a joke, and Lyserg couldn't manage a glare at Hao without yawning. The others were rubbing at the seemingly permanent sleep in their eyes.  
  
They arrived at the Mess Hall after what seemed like an eternity. Troop 69 received their trays of who-knows-what camp food without so much as a negative word and sat at a table.  
  
They were silently eating when they were confronted by Troop Eight again. Nichrome loomed over their table menacingly, his troop behind him.  
  
"Oh, lookie here... if it isn't the ever lame Troop 69," he sneered.  
  
"What do you want, Nichrome?" Silva asked with a glare.  
  
"Oh, we just wanted to say 'hi' to you before we beat you in the obstacle course later. And, once we do that, we'll go and watch Saturday morning cartoons on our 32 inch television... in our cabin," he replied smugly.  
  
"C'mon... let's go," Silva said to his troop, standing up and waiting for his troop to do the same.  
  
"Run while you still can!" Nichrome shouted after Troop 69 as they left. "I'll get you Silva, and your little troop, too!"  
  
  
  
When they arrived at the obstacle course, not only were they tired, but they were also hungry. The troop had only been halfway through their breakfast when Nichrome had ever so rudely interrupted them.  
  
The obstacle course was like any other obstacle course. It started with a net to be climbed up, followed by a water-filled gap with piranhas, which they had to swing over on a rope. After that, they had to slide down another rope, crawl under a sheet of barbed wire that was very close to the ground, and scale a wall. Once up the wall, they had to run through six tires, down the steps, across a short stretch, then were asked one random trivia question before they could advance to the finish.  
  
The first troop to get at least one member across the finish line was announced the winners. In other words, all Troop 69 had to do was get one member of their team through the whole obstacle course before Troop Eight did. Easier said than done.  
  
Once all of the troops arrived, the campers were lined up at the starting line and the countdown began.  
  
"Three... two... one! Go!" And they were off.  
  
Everything was going great. All of Troop 69 made it up the net without fail -- except for Ryu. Unfortunately for him, he was knocked off of it by the pushing crowd; his shoe managed to get stuck in the ropes, and, when he fell off, he was left hanging upside-down by one foot.  
  
Troop 69 was not daunted by this. One by one they crossed the gap by swinging on the rope, excluding Hao, who found it easier to float over everything with Spirit of Fire's assistance. Lyserg was swinging on the rope when he suddenly lost his grip and plummeted to the water below.  
  
As Hao floated ever closer to the finish line, the remaining members of Troop 69 ran across the platform and shimmied down the rope.  
  
Up next, they met with the dreaded barbed wire sheet. Cringing, the group threw themselves to the ground and, using their elbows, dragged their bodies under the wire. Upon exiting, Horo looked back to see that they had lost yet another member. Ren was clawing at his hair, which was stuck in the barbed wire. Horo grimaced but moved on as the rest called back to him.  
  
He soon passed Manta, who was at the bottom of the wall, holding the rope and staring up at the long stretch that was the was they needed to scale. Once up the wall, the group was down to three, excluding Hao, who had apparently floated away.  
  
As they started across the tires, they were neck-and-neck with Troop Eight, who still insisted on making faces. While attempting to return the rude gestures, Chocolove fell face-first into the tires and was trampled by Horo, who was running too fast to stop. He yelled an apology over his shoulder as he left the tires and continued on to the stairs.  
  
About halfway down the staircase, Horo heard a loud thud behind him. He looked back to see Yoh, passed out on the stairs.  
  
Horo pressed on, entering a large refrigerator box with a sign outside reading 'Question of DOOM!!'. Inside stood the camp leader, holding a flaming torch.  
  
"I have a single question to ask. Answer correctly, you pass through. Answer incorrectly, you are out and must sing karaoke at the next campfire. Now, the question: How many stomachs does a cow have?"  
  
Horo tapped his chin thoughtfully before shouting a happily incorrect answer.  
  
"Banana Lincoln!"  
  
The man shook his head sadly, watching as Troop Eight began to enter.  
  
Down at the finish line, Hao stood with his hand hovering centimeters from the ribbon. He watched as, one by one, the members of Troop Eight began to exit the question box and run at the finish line. As they ran past him, breaking through the ribbon and winning the first of many lame camp events, Hao merely sighed.  
  
"Not quick enough. Pity," Hao said, grinning and starting back to the cabin.  
  
As Troop Eight popped the cork out of an expensive bottle of apple cider to celebrate, Troop 69 trudged past. Troop Eight made many uncouth comments as Troop 69 passed, the seven remaining members too tired to throw any comment back.  
  
  
  
After a long trip to the infirmary and an extended petting session between Faust and a terrified Manta, Troop 69 headed out to the campfire.  
  
When they arrived, Troop Eight took a few minutes to comment rather rudely on their bandages.  
  
Lyserg had his left arm in a cast, Ren's point of pair was wrapped up, and Chocolove had been bandaged where Horo had trampled him. Manta's head was in bandages from when Troop Eight had tied him to the rope, lifted him up the wall, then dropped him. The ones who weren't bandaged were nursing bruised pride.  
  
Obviously, not many had made it to the question box since the karaoke lineup was only a few people.  
  
Horo's turn came around and he took his place by the campfire. When all was quiet, he began his own touching rendition of 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'  
  
"Row, row, row your boat," he sang off-key, making rowing motions to accompany the song, "gently down the--"  
  
He then cut himself off and began a completely different song. "Frosty the snowman was a very--"  
  
"Okay, that's enough! Next!"  
  
Horo was ushered away from the campfire before he could finish the line, and the next person took his place.  
  
"Let's go back to the cabin," Silva suggested. Troop 69 grunted in agreement. They were tried and ached all over from their injuries.  
  
"Besides, Hao went back there and we haven't seen him since."  
  
  
  
Back at Cabin 69, Hao was playing a rousing game of solitaire.  
  
"Sigh," Hao mumbled to himself. "Solitaire -- the loneliest game of all." He then laughed insanely and torched the cards in his hands.  
  
At the moment that he burned the cars, Troop 69 dragged themselves into the cabin. Silva, seeing the flames, scolded him.  
  
"Hao! Stop with the pyrotechnics! You could have burned down the whole cabin then we would've had to sleep outside with the snakes."  
  
"Not like sleeping in here is much different," Hao commented before looking to his fellow troop members. He grinned when he spotted Lyserg's cast and stated, "I hear plaster of Paris is highly flammable."  
  
Lyserg was restrained while he scratched, clawed, and bit at those holding him back, all the while yelling about Hao killing his parents.  
  
"You parent-killing bastard!" Lyserg shouted angrily. He was eventually calmed down, and they were all put into bed.  
  
Before they fell asleep, Silva said to them, "Tomorrow we'll be going to the Arts and Crafts building to do... arts and crafts."  
  
With the promise of another oh-so-enjoyable day at camp in the future, Troop 69 groaned and went to sleep.  
  
-  
  
Next chapter will come.. eventually. Going back to school tomorrow, so there's no telling if that'll hold us up. -sigh- Review, please! We need motivation! 


	5. Arts and Crafts

**a/n . **Eheh... sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Usually we're not this lazy. Ten days? Myuh... but, alas! I come bearing excuses! Not only were we busy, but I actually typed up almost the whole chapter by my dad's house, but I forgot to load it onto a disk or send it to myself, so I had to retype it. ^^; 

Anyway, the chapter's extra long [ 2,257 words!! ] to make up for our stupidity, and because, we love the reviews so. -pouceglompmolest- Thanks **so** much for your support, without it this fic would... probably still be posted. o__O Anyway... xD Enjoy! 

**Warning . **Shounen-ai! xD Not like you didn't know that. Horo x Ren goodness! 

**Disclaimer . **You... think we own Shaman King? -laughs hysterically- 

- 

**"Camp Happy Pants"**   
Chapter Four . Arts and Crafts 

- 

Troop 69 was dragged out of bed around six thirty a.m. Though this wasn't exactly pleasing, they were grateful that it wasn't four this time. 

They pulled on their uniforms as Silva regarded them brightly, being the morning person that most camp people are. 

Once they were ready, the normal walk through the forest took place. Twenty minutes after they left the cabin, they were sitting in the Mess Hall, eating their breakfast with more enthusiam than they had been the morning before. 

"Hi," a voice behind them spoke up. It was Nichrome and his troop, of course. 

"We just finished watching Saturday morning cartoons on our sixty inch television with a satellite dish... in our cabin," Nichrome informed them smugly. 

"How could you have watched Saturday morning cartoons two days in a row?" Yoh asked. The other Troop 69'ers -- except for Lyserg, who was glaring daggers at Hao -- nodded in agreement when they realized that he had a point. 

Rather than answer, Nichrome frowned and turned to walk away, his troop at his heels. Silva grinned as he watched their retreating backs. 

The group ate the rest of their breakfast in silence, ignoring the heavy breathing coming from Lyserg as he continued glaring at Hao. 

"Tally ho! Time to go, troop!" Silva exclaimed cheerfully, jumped up as the last of the plates was cleaned. 

Everyone stood and headed out, slowly making their way to the art building. The wind picked up conveniently as they arrived, making the small shack sway dangerously. Despite the ominous look, Troop 69 entered without hesitation. 

"Welcome!" Yoh's dad greeted, holding up a hand as a sign of hello. Troop 69 mumbled their hellos as they passed by him, dropping down into seats at two tables near each other. 

"Welcome to the arts and crafts hour," Yoh's dad continued, undaunted by their lack of enthusiam. "First, your spirits will present you with the gifts they made yesterday. Then, we'll get started with expressional popsicle stick art." 

Yoh raised his hand from the table as Amidamaru approached him. 

"Yoh-dono, I made these gifts for you," he said, holding up two barely identifiable objects. One was a macaroni necklace. The other was an odd little sword made from popsicle sticks. 

As Yoh tried to express a believable thank you, the rest of the spirits presented their masters with their own gifts. 

Spirit of Fire gave Hao a little torch made from popsicle sticks. To ass to the presentation, he set it on fire. Tokageroh gave Ryu a small model of a lizard, which, surprisingly, actually looked like a lizard. Kororo had made Horo a little fuki leaf from construction paper, which Horo loved but ended up crushing when he sat on it. Bason gave Ren a popsicle stick version of... Ren, made with extra glitter to make "young master's sparkly smile." Mi brought Chocolove a stick glued to a piece of paper, the most he could do with a set of paws. Yoh's dad handed Manta a construction paper flower, seeing as he didn't have a spirit. 

As Lyserg watched the other spirits, he began to worry. 

"Where's Morphin?" he asked, looking around for his little winged spirit. 

After a moment of silence, Tokageroh began laughing. Near Hao, Spirit of Fire was making an odd 'huh'ing noise. Hao glanced up and smiled. 

"I never knew you had such personality, Spirit of Fire," he remarked, listening to his spirit make a sick attempt at a laugh. 

"What have you done to my spirit?!" Lyserg shrieked, jumping halfway across the table at Ryu and Tokageroh. 

"Well, she got some glue on her wings and things just happened from there..." Tokageroh explained. He pulled something out from behind his back, and Hao broke into fits of laughter. 

In Tokageroh's hands was a fan blade... with Morphin stuck to it. 

"I can explain," Amidamaru offered, looking at the increasingly angry expression on Lyserg's face. Lyserg looked at him and nodded, allowing Amidamaru to continue. "Morphin had landed in some conveniently placed glue and, while trying to get it off, managed to get stuck to two popsicle sticks. Seeing this, Tokageroh took the opportunity to put some glue on the popsicle sticks. Then, Spirit of Fire picked her up and stuck her to the fan. Tokageroh then turned on the fan and the two of them laughed until Yoh's father turned it off and sent them to the corner." 

"I hear that glue is highly flammable," Hao remarked, grinning up at Spirit of Fire. Lyserg glared around the table at everyone before snatching the fan blade from Tokageroh and running out of the art building. 

"I guess we don't need this glue remover then," Yoh's dad said, tossing a small bottle over his shoulder. "Now, on to the art fun!" 

He walked to another table and returned with a large box. Out of it, he pulled popsicle sticks, bottles of glue, many pairs of scissors, canisters of glitter, constuction paper, toilet paper rolls, pipe cleaners, and egg cartons. 

The sevem remaining members of Troop 69 began work on their own crafts. Two hours later, they walked out of the art building, most smiling. Ren, who was scowling, was still trying to pick a pipe cleaner out og his hair. Hao had wound it in earlier after Ren made a snide comment about his reenactment of becoming Shaman King using popsicle stick and pipe cleaner people. 

During the long, semi-happy walk back to the cabin, Horo began plotting. He had made a lovely boquet of egg carton flowers in a toilet paper roll vase that he desperately wanted to give to Ren. As they arrived at the cabin, the light popped on in his mind and he grinned maliciously. This was his best plan yt, and he knew exactly how to start it in motion... 

- 

Once they stepped foot into the cabin, Silva informed them, "We'll spend an hour or two here, go eat lunch, then find something else to do during the afternoon." 

Everyone flopped down on their respective beds, glad to have a short amount of time off to rest. 

Horo glanced around the cabin slowly, making sure that no one was watching. He quickly shoved his crafts -- the flowers and vase -- under his blanket. After once again checking to see if no one saw it, he took to leaning over one end of his bunk to gaze fondly at Ren's back while he struggled with the pipe cleaner that still was stuck in his hair. 

The rest of Troop 69 had found something to do in their break. Yoh was taking a nap; Ryu was wailing about Lyserg, who hadn't been seen since he ran out angrily; Hao was trying to make up for his usual victim not being present by taunting both Manta and Chocolove; and Ren was attempting in vain to remove the wretched pipe cleaner. 

"What are you staring at?" 

Horo blinked as a voice brought him out of his daze and found himself staring at, rather than his back, Ren's face. 

"Er... nothing," Horo replied not looking away. 

Ren growled. He was more than a little irate, and the frayed pipe cleaner was still sticking out of his mondo-cowlick. 

Horo leaned over a bit more and reached out. "Let me get that," he offered, grabbing the end of the pipe cleaner that was poking out and tugged hard at it. 

Startled, Ren made a painful noise and whacked Horo's hand away, shouting, "Kisama!" He turned around again, seething. 

With a sigh, the Ainu pulled himself back up onto his bed with a sigh. 

- 

"Okay, troop, time to go get lunch!" Silva exclaimed joyously, pulling Yoh up out of bed by the arms. 

Troop 69 made annoyed noises as they were prodded out of the cabin by their over-exuberant troop leader. A minute later, they grudgingly began to walk back to civilization. 

After ten minutes of hiking, they made it to the mess hall. Luckily, lunch wasn't at the same time for all the troops, so they didn't have another run-in with Troop Eight. Once they were filled with crumbly old sandwiches and their choice of juice or milk, Silva told them that they were taking a hike. 

"A hike?! Why? Walking from the cabin to the mess hall and back is a hike in itself," Manta groaned, the rest of the group nodding in agreement. 

"Yeah, and what about Lyserg? We can't do a group activity without him," Ryu stated, crossing his arms. Silva thought about this for a moment then held up a hand. 

"I'll be right back," he said, walking out of the mess hall. Soon after, an extremely odd-looking Lyserg returned. 

"Lyserg!" Ryu shouted, running forward and throwing his arms around his young companion's neck. It didn't take him long to realize that something was horribly wrong with Lyserg. He was a bit too tall and... robust to be Lyserg. 

"Silva! That isn't funny!" he shrieked. The rest of Troop 69 stood behind Ryu, laughing, as Silva pulled out a wedgie. 

"How does he wear his shorts this short?" Silva grumbled, yanking on them to give himself some length. 

Once Silva changed, the troop was in a good enough mood to actually attempt his hike. They started off into the woods, heading to the camp boundaries. 

"I had no idea the camp had hills on its grounds," Chocolove remarked, holding his chest as the altitude increased even more. 

"Oh, we aren't on the camp grounds anymore. About 200 yards back into the woods, the camp boundaries ended. I just didn't feel that we needed to turn back yet," Silva replied, grinning back at his heaving troop. 

Ren jumped forward to make an attempt at Silva's life, but Horo held him back. 

"No use in killing him. Then we'd be lost in the woods," Yoh commented as Ren clawed at Horo in vain. 

They tromped on for another ten minutes before Silva turned and began walking in the direction from which they had come. The seven boys watched him for a minute before deciding not to question it and followed him. 

An hour later, Troop 69 emerged from the forest, most clutching their sides and breathing heavily. As they dragged themselves past the mud pit, Hao noticed something. 

"Aren't those burny boy's shorts? he noted, pointing to a lone pair of dirty shorts near the mud pit. 

Troop 69 gathered around the discarded shorts. 

"Where's Lyserg running to without his shorts?" Horo asked curiously, leaning down to pick them up. Silva beat him to it, grabbed them, and stuffed the article of clothing in his pocket. 

"If anyone asks where Lyserg is, he's back in the cabin, sick," Silva told them sternly. With a shifty glance, he added, "I'd be in trouble up the whazoo if they found out one of my troop members was missing." 

They started at Silva, shocked by his method of handling the problem. Nevertheless, they followed him when he announced it was time to return to the cabin. 

- 

It was late that night, long after the troop had forced a distraught Ryu to get some sleep then went to bed themselves, when Horo sat up in the dark. He grinned. It was time to set his plan into motion. 

Using a piece of string, he sercurely tied the vase and flowers. He leaned over the side of his bunk and began to slowly lower them onto Ren's bed. 

_Now Ren will finally know how I feel_, Horo thought gleefully. That was where things went horribly wrong. 

Horo leaned over a bit more to be sure that the crafts landed on Ren's bed. He leaned over a bit too far and ended up flipping over the safety bar. When he grabbed onto it out of pure instinct, it buckled under his weight and, with a loud _crack_, snapped. Horo was sent sailing onto the bunk beneath his, landing on top of Ren and knocking the breath out of him. All of this happened in a second's time. 

There were shifting noises, and the room was suddenly illuminated by the lone light bulb swinging pecariously from the ceiling. Horo found the rest of Troop 69 rubbing at their eyes but stopping once they saw him sprawled across Ren. 

"Ooo," Hao squealed as he peered at them from his bunk nearby. "Were you trying to rape 'im or something?" he asked Horo with a smirk. 

Before the boy in question could shoot back a reply, Silva spoke up. 

"Hao! Stop!" he scolded. Then, turning to survey the damage, he said, "There's no way we're going to be able to repair that anytime soon." 

Rather than just the safety bar, the whole bed had snapped, and it was too uneven to sleep on. 

"I suppose you and Ren will just have to share a bed for now," Silva concluded. While Horo tried to hide a wide grin and Ren shouted profanities, he clapped his hands. "Okay, back to bed." 

Everyone settled down, and the light was turned off. 

"'Night, Ren!" Horo chirped brightly. 

Ren shifted in the small space he now had and didn't reply. 

- 

**a/n . **Gasp! What has become of Lyserg? Will Horo ever make it to first base with Ren? All of these questions and more answered it the next chapter of **"Camp Happy Pants"**! 

... God, I've always wanted to type something like that. ^__^; Anyways, review and motivate us! Whee! 


	6. A Day Off

**a/n .** Once again, sorry for the uber-long wait. School work and stuff, you know. This chapter's mainly here for plot development. [ Yes, that means that we actually have a plot. xD ] 

**Warning .** You know the drill -- shounen-ai, in the form of HoroRen and a very horny Hao. 

**Disclaimer .** Don't own Shaman King. 

- 

**"Camp Happy Pants"**   
Chapter Five . A Day Off 

- 

Three days when by with no sign of Lyserg whatsoever, and Troop 69 was beginning to worry -- not to mention notice a difference in the mood. Things just weren't the same without the sound of Lyserg's heavy breathing as he glared at Hao or his usual shouts of "Parent-killer!" and the like. 

Hao himself was getting rather bored without Lyserg around to poke fun at; taunting the other troop members just wasn't good enough. To fend off boredness, Hao made up a new game, which he entitled "Get Inside Yoh's Pants" for obvious reasons. 

Yoh wasn't too thrilled with Hao's "game" and quickly learned to avoid his twin whenever possible, even though he couldn't all the time. So, naturally, Yoh was relieved when Silva woke them up later than normal on their sixth day of camp and announced a free day. 

"Yay! Free day!" Horo Horo screeched, jumping up in the bed that he now shared with Ren. His head slammed against the bottom of his former bunk, and he fell backwards, landing on top of his bunkmate. 

While Ren proceeded to beat Horo to a bloody pulp, the rest of the troop changed into their uniforms and set off to do whatever they pleased. 

- 

Yoh decided to begin his day off by getting some breakfast. He slowly took the long walk to the mess hall, where he filled up on camp food, then took to sitting under a tree by Lake Happy Pants. Little did he know, Hao was floating nearby. 

Yoh soon dozed off, and Hao was on him like white on rice. As he reached his hands down to remove Yoh's shorts, Yoh groggily opened one eye. 

"Hao, what are you doing here?" he asked, hoping his brother would back off. Hao looked him right in the eye and proceeded to reply. 

"I'm here to put out the fire." At this, both of Yoh's eye popped open. 

"What fire?" he questioned, looking around. 

"The fire in your pants!" Hao shouted with glee, jumping on his little brother. As Yoh fought Hao off, Silva passed. He looked at them, shook his head, and grinned. 

"Silly boys," he mumbled, continuing on to the art building. Inside he found Ryu hunched over a table. Next to him was Yoh's father, who was handing art items to Ryu every so often. 

As Silva circled the table, he realized Ryu was making something. 

"What do you have there?" he asked, leaning over the table to look at the item in Ryu's hand. 

"Lyserg," Ryu mumbled in reply, not looking up. 

"What?" Silva leaned down closer to Ryu. 

"Lyserg," he repeated. This time he held up the item he had been working on. 

In his hand was a disturbingly realistic mini-Lyserg, complete with little camp shorts. Ryu looked down at it and whimpered, then hugged it to his chest. 

- 

Back at the lake, across from the spot that Hao had earlier molested Yoh, Ren was standing near the canoes. He looking around casually, pretending that he wasn't watching for Horo, but as he glanced at the archery field, Nichrome and his team appeared next to Ren. 

"Looking for someone?" You shouldn't be out here alone, you know. The buddy system is always best, especially at camp," Nichrome commented as Ren turned to face him. "Isn't that right, Spike?" 

Spike growled at Ren. Ren glared back. Just as Nichrome seemed to be giving up, Horo showed up. 

"Gasp! Ren! Consorting with the enemy?!" he shouted, running to stand next to Ren. 

"Do you even know what consorting means?" he asked. 

"No, it just sounds good. Did I use it right?" 

As the two began to argue, Nichrome motioned for his troop to surround them, and before Ren and Horo could do anything to stop it, they had been shoved into a canoe and were drifting out into Lake Happy Pants without an oar. 

"Have fun! And remember to stick with your buddy!" Nichrome yelled after them. Ren watched it disgust as Troop Eight and their leader walked away laughing. 

The canoe floated out for a while before they hit one of the three little islands in the middle of the lake. As they sat, Ren looked over at Horo. 

"Well? Push us off so we can head back to shore, idiot," he ordered. Horo moved to do so, but stopped as he touched the island. 

"No," he said, turning back to face Ren. 

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Ren demanded. Horo closed in on Ren, putting his face inches from the fuming Chinese boy's. 

"I mean, no. I'm not going to push the boat off," he explained. Ren let out a growling noise and jumped at Horo. As the scuffle broke out, their canoe began to rock violently. The two soon found themselves in the lake. 

"I... can't... swim!" Horo gasped, bobbing up and down in the water. 

"Stand up, moron. The whole lake is only waist-deep." Horo stopped failing and stood up. 

"Lake water stinks," Horo stated after a minute. He leaned over and sniffed Ren. "You stink." 

Ren slapped the back of Horo's head and trudged to the shore. 

"Wait up! We both need to go change," Horo called after him, trying to run through the water to catch up. 

As Horo chased Ren back to Troop 69's cabin, Manta and Chocolove passed them, on their way to the mess hall. 

"What do you think happened to Lyserg?" Manta asked, looking up at Chocolove. 

"He's not dead," came the happy reply. 

"What if one of us is taken next?" Manta shivered at his own suggestion. 

"Don't worry. If you get kidnapped, we'll look for you," Chocolove comforted, patting the short boy's head. 

"That's good to know," Manta sighed. 

- 

Back at Troop 69's cabin, a freshly changed Horo sat on his bunk. Ren, Yoh, and Silva were also in the cabin, but after a furtive glance around the room, he was sure none of them were paying attention to him. 

He reached under the mattress and dug around for a second before pulling out an economy-sized bag of jelly beans. 

While Horo munched happily on his jelly beans, he failed to notice that Silva had moved to stand over him. When the finally looked up, all hell broke loose. 

"What are you eating?!" Silva shouted at Horo, causing him to shrink back. "Jelly beans are NOT camp food! You're NOT allowed to eat them! ... But I think I'll let you off the hook if you give me some, okay?" He held out his hand, and Horo handed him some jelly beans. 

"Now," Silva added as he turned to walk away, "I don't want to see those jelly beans again, got it?" 

Horo nodded and sighed, shoving them back under the bed. 

- 

Later that day, about an hour before the set "bed time," Troop 69 was assembled in their cabin, basically doing nothing. 

Chocolove and Horo had obviously gotten into a disagreement about something pointless, and Ren had joined into the argument after calling them morons. Yoh was sitting on his bed, pretending to ignore the eerie, perverted grin that Hao was giving him from across the cabin, and Ryu was moping with his mini-Lyserg. 

Silva walked into the cabin and scanned the room before asking, "Where's Manta?" 

Everyone looked up and also glanced around. 

"I ate lunch with him, but he went off after that," Chocolove offered. "Did anyone else see him?" 

No one spoke up until Horo exclaimed, "Maybe he was kidnapped like Lyserg!" 

Silva gave a shifty glance to the side. "If anyone asks, he's sick," he told his troop firmly. "Can't have me getting in trouble, you know." 

Troop 69 shot each other looks before nodding in agreement. 

- 

**a/n .** Once again, sorry for the prolonged delay. Not gonna make any promises as to when the next chapter will be up, but we'll try to not take as long as we did this time. 


	7. Oh, Look, a Candy

**a/n .** Boy, have we been busy, but, as promised, here's the next chapter of CHP! 

**Warning .** Shounen-ai. 'Nuff said. 

**Disclaimer .** Oh. Em. Gee. If you're still reading this and think that we claim to own Shaman King, then maybe you have problems. Also, the "Gay Bar" song doesn't belong to us. 

- 

**"Camp Happy Pants"**   
Chapter Six . Oh, Look... a Candy 

- 

"Today," Silva announced to his troop, "we will begin our training. Sure, the hours will be hard and long, and the training vicious, but it'll all be worth it when I -- I mean, WE -- kick Nichrome's butt." 

Troop 69 was silent until Yoh asked, ". . . What are we training for again?" 

Silva slapped the heel of his hand to his forehead. "The mud pit, of course," he sighed exasperatedly. "The big competition is in two weeks. Nichrome and his troop win every year, but he uses dirty, underhanded methods to beat the other troops -- like that time he put cement mix in the pit. It took us forever to chip Troop Five out of there. 

"Okay, then," Silva said with a clap of his hands. "As you all know, it hasn't rained recently, so it's up to us to make our own mud pit. So . . . grab a bucket." 

They each picked up a bucket from the stack he pointed to and set to work. 

Silva had gotten them up early and dragged them out of bed, over to the mess hall. After breakfast, they assembled between the mud pit and the lake, where they were now. 

In order to be able to actually train in the mud pit, they had to make it muddy. Silva's solution was to give them each a plastic bucket and fill the pit with lake water. 

Hao grinned at Yoh as they started back to the pit, each holding a bucket of smelly water at arm's length. 

"Man, you're hot," he flirted relentlessly. "Let me smother you with my body before you catch on fire." Holding his bucket with one hand, he reached for Yoh's pants. 

"Yah!" In an instinctive move to protect his lower regions from his horny brother, Yoh threw the bucket in his hands at Hao, soaking the older twin with the stinky lake water. 

"Hey! We have extremely limited resources here! The lake is only so deep! This water can't be wasted on foolishness; it needs to go to the mud pit," Silva fussed. Yoh nodded and sighed, turning to go back to the lake to get more water. 

As the group toted bucket between the lake and the mud pit, Horo noticed a small candy wrapped in shiny paper. 

"Oh, look. A candy," he said, leaning over to pick it up. As he leaned over, he noticed another shimmering wrapper a foot away. Depositing his bucket near the lake, Horo followed a long trail of candy toward the trees. 

"Oh, look. A candy." Lean over, pick it up. "Oh, look. A candy." Lean over, pick it up. "Oh, look. A candy." This went on for thirty or so candies before Horo reached the outskirts of the woods. 

"Oh, look," he gasped. "A cookie!" As he leaned down to claim his final prize, a sheet came down over him. Soon after, a large body found a seat on Horo, knocking him out cold. 

- 

"Hey, where did Horo go?" Chocolove asked, looking around the mud pit. On one side sat Yoh, holding his legs tightly to his chest. On the other side sat a soaked, smelly Hao, who was still making sexual motions at Yoh. 

"It doesn't matter. If he stays gone, I can have my bed back," Ren grumbled, crossing his arms. 

"But what if he's missing like Manta and Lyserg?" 

"Hmph. Doesn't matter to me." 

At this, Ryu stood and stepped between them. 

"That's it, we have to find them. Especially if we're missing three people now," he reasoned. 

"We don't need to find them **right** now. Maybe later. Let's get back to work," Silva argued. 

"But if we don't get the rest of our troop back, we'll never beat Troop Eight in the end-of-camp competition," Chocolove sighed. "Horo is one of the most dedicated people here. I'd think you'd want to get him back." 

Silva looked over his shoulder slowly, taking in the remaining five members of his sad troop. 

"Well, what are we waiting for?! We have a search to begin!" Silva exclaimed. He divided the group into two groups of three -- Ren, Yoh, and Hao and Ryu, Chocolove, and himself -- and they set off. 

- 

Little did they know that as they searched above ground, their troopmates were sitting in a small dirt room somewhere below the camp. 

"How long have be been down here?" Manta asked, looking from Horo to Lyserg. Both shrugged, one a little more optimistic than the other. 

Silence spread through the room like a marshmallow Peep in the microwave. 

"Let's start a war," Horo whispered, adding a slight tune to his words. 

"What?" Manta questioned. 

"A nuclear war," Horo continued. "At the gar bar! Gay bar! Gay bar!" He shouted the last part, adding emphasis to the word 'bar.' 

Lyserg looked at Horo, eyes widening. Horo grinned and stood up. 

"You're a superstar! At the gay bar!" he sang loudly, making pointing motions at Lyserg as he continued. "A superstar! At the gar bar!" 

Lyserg looked to Manta for help, but, to his dismay, Manta was tapping his foot along with Horo's suggestive lyrics. 

"I've got something to put in you. I've got something to put in you. At the --" Horo pointed to Manta, who, on cue, shouted, "Gay bar!" 

Realizing what he had said, Manta covered his mouth and stared at Horo, who was singing his heart out. 

"At the gay bar! Gay bar! Gay bar!" Lyserg and Manta continued to watch Horo as he sang and danced, adding in a pelvic thrust every few moves. 

Suddenly, in the middle of one of Horo's thrusting dance moves, the door slammed open. 

"Would you **shut up**?!" the figure in the doorway shouted. 

Horo looked up and gasped. 

"Hey! You're --" Before he could finish his statement, the same large body plopped down on Horo, knocking him out again. 

- 

**a/n .** Geez, we're cheap. We make you wait so long, and that's all we post. Hey, it was a nice stopping point! ^^; Never fear, we are writing as you read this! Or... I think we are. 

Anyways, go ahead and take a random guess as to who the kidnappers are. Absolutely nothing to whoever gets it. XD Review, please! 


	8. Bit by a Snake

**a/n .** Yes, the lazy bums have finally updated. The ungodly amount of authors' notes will be at the end of the chapter. Please read them there. 

**Warning .** shounen-ai 

**Disclaimer .** If we owned Shaman King, do you think we would have let 4Kids dub it? No, I don't think so. 

. 

**"Camp Happy Pants"**   
Chapter Seven . Bit by a Snake 

. 

While the three missing members of Troop 69 were being held against their will by the "mystery villains," their troopmates searched high and low. 

"Psshhh. . . click! Blue team, do you copy?" 

Ryu and Chocolove glared at Silva, who was holding his hand up to his mouth as if he were speaking into a walkie talkie. 

"Psshhh. . . stand down, blue team! Stand down!" 

"Would you be quiet?" Chocolove asked as nicely as possible. 

"Psshhh... sorry," Silva answered. In turn, he was pounced on by Ryu. 

. 

A few yards away, Yoh watched as Ren tried to build a fire by twirling a stick and a leaf. 

"That isn't how you -- would you like me to do it?" Hao asked as he watched Ren throw the stick down angrily. 

"Who made you the expert on fire?" Ren snapped, looking up at Hao. Behind Hao was Spirit of Fire. At noting this, Ren hung his head and motioned toward the leaf. 

"Hao, I don't think--" Yoh was cut off by a massive flame that blew past him. It lit a chunk of the forest on fire. 

"Yoh, I think you're right. We didn't need that big of a fire," Ren nodded, watching large, flaming trees fall to the ground, setting more of the forest on fire. 

Yoh glanced around. "I think we should get out of here." 

And with that, they were making a hasty exit from the trees. 

. 

Horo opened his eyes and winced. It felt like some had sat on him -- someone big. 

"Look, he's awake," Manta commented as Horo sat up and rubbed his head. The two of them and Lyserg were still in the same room, still being held by the same captors. 

Nothing further was said for a while. The tense silence was broken when Horo suddenly spoke. 

"One time," he began, going into storyteller mode," Ren and I were walking through the forest, and this big snake jumped out from behind a bush at us! Well, snakes don't jump, so I guess it slithered out really fast of something. Maybe it flew at us from the bush, or--" At the looks Manta and Lyserg were giving him, Horo resumed the original story. "Anyway, it went straight for Ren and. . ." 

He paused and sniffled. "It. . . bit him! I hate snakes, so I stood there and cried. If a snake bit anyone -- **anyone** -- I would cry. I hate snakes." 

The other two prisoners sighed as they watched Horo on the verge of tears. They really, _really_ hoped that their troopmates would save them, and fast. 

. 

Back above ground, Yoh, Hao, and Ren had resumed searching for clued in another part of the forest. They were making their way through the tress, Hao trying to make a pass at Yoh, when something jumped -- er, slithered really fast -- out of a bush. 

"A snake," Yoh observed calmly as the said snake proceeded to bite Ren and slide away again. 

"Oh, what a pity," Hao mock-sighed. "I guess I'll have to suck the poison out." 

. 

"Nooo!" 

Manta and Lyserg watched as Horo rolled on the ground and wailed pitifully. 

"Someone's been bit by a snake; I can feel it!" he cried. They merely looked on. 

. 

". . . Hao? I don't think sucking the poison out requires taking Ren's shorts off. The snake bit his ankle," Yoh pointed out. 

"Be quiet," Hao retorted as he attempted to pull off the struggling Ren's shorts. "I'm the expert here." 

"It was a grass snake," Ren growled, kicking at Hao. "Look what I fell on . . . Doesn't it look familiar?" 

Hao and Yoh looked at Ren's hand, both noting the patch with a large letter X on it. 

"No," Yoh answered. Hao shook his head in agreement. Ren stood up and shoved it in Yoh's face. 

"You mean to tell me that this doesn't ring any bells?" Ren demanded, shaking the patch. "Even the bell entitled **X-LAWS**?!" 

Yoh laughed. "What would the X-Laws be doing here, Ren?" 

"Kidnapping people." 

"Nah, they aren't here. Let's move on," Hao stated. He and Yoh walked off, leaving Ren to fume. 

. 

"Look there! It's Yoh and Hao! But where is teammate Ren?" Silva asked as he, accompanied by extremely frustrated troopers Ryu and Chocolove, approached the pair. 

"I'm right here, and I have a clue as to who kidnapped our troop members," Ren said as he emerged from behind a nearby tree. 

"Who?!" Silva shrieked, nearly jumping Ren. 

"The X-Laws," he replied, holding up the patch. 

"Don't be silly, Ren. Why would the X-Laws be at camp? I haven't seen them swimming in the lake or eating in the mess hall, have you?" Silva laughed, patting Ren's shoulder. The rest of the group joined in, laughing and dismissing Ren's accusations. 

"Let's go. We need to find those three soon," Silva said. Ren glared angrily as everyone walked off, completely ignoring his idea. 

. 

Later that day, the five remaining members of Troop 69 and Silva were gathered in the cabin after hours' worth of unsuccessful searching. Ren sat on his bed, glaring at the others as they shared suggestions as to who the kidnappers were. 

"I bet it was Nichrome . . . the little bastard just wants to make sure that he wins in the mud wrestling match," Silva grumbled. 

While the others elaborated on Silva's suspicion, Ren fumed. 

Everyone looked up when he interjected, "Coming here was a bad idea. Why'd you even open the letter in the first place?" His question was directed to Yoh, who was about to reply when Silva cut in. 

"Letter? What letter?" he questioned, glancing between the two. 

"The invitation to come to camp," Yoh answered matter-of-factly. Seeing the confused look on Silva's face, he reached under his bunk for his bag. "Hold on, I have it in here." 

When Yoh handed him the envelope, Silva pulled out the letter and skimmed it. He was silent for a moment before stating, 

"Well, it looks authentic. It's the funniest thing, though; we don't send out invitations." 

Ren leaned over and snatched the paper from their troop leader. After staring at it, he shoved the invitation into Yoh's face. 

"Why the hell didn't you notice this?!" he yelled, waving the paper under Yoh's nose. 

Yoh looked blankly at the paper, then at Ren. "Notice what?" 

"**This**!" Ren tapped the top of the paper. 

Where Ren's finger pointed, there was a flowery letterhead plastered with the X-Laws logo. It was painfully obvious from whom the letter had been sent. 

". . . Ren, are you still stuck on that X-Laws idea?" Silva asked carefully, peering over at the letterhead. "Because it's just ridiculous." He grabbed the letter and folded it back up, handing it to Yoh. 

"X-Laws," he chuckled. "The very idea." 

Ren glared as his troop laughed at him. Even as Silva ushered them all into bed, promising a more fortunate search tomorrow, he knew that he was right about the X-Laws. 

. 

**a/n .** Okay, so it was kinda short. Sorry about the "cliffhanger" last chapter. Didn't even realize it was much of one. -blinks- Anyways, if you can't guess who the kidnappers are now, maybe you should stop reading. Seriously. ^^; We were surprised that no one guessed right. Oh well. 

Also, we got a Livejournal recently. If you like our fan fiction, check out for more Hineyisms, such as our weird Shaman King role play and Kristen's art. XD! We're also looking for someone to make an animated icon or two for us. ... We'll pay you somehow. Just name the price -- us write a story for you, Kristen draws a picture for you, Becky whores out her body for you. -cough- Tell us in a review or an e-mail (to thehineygods@yahoo.com) if you'll do it and tell me what you want. 

When's the next chapter? No clue! But we can guarantee it'll be out eventually. And thanks to all of the reviewers. You guys work as motivation when we don't feel like writing! XD 


	9. Jesus Lizard

**a/n .** Hope you guys had a nice Easter and/or spring break. Thanks for reviewing! 

**Warning .** shounen-ai, I guess. e__e 

**Disclaimer .** This is understood. No need to say anything. 

. 

**"Camp Happy Pants"**   
Chapter Eight . Jesus Lizard 

. 

The next morning, which happened to be the morning of the second Tuesday of the month, the remaining boys woke to find Silva gone. 

"The X-Laws got Silva, too. Great," Ren groaned. 

"It wasn't the X-Laws. Let's look for clues. Maybe the crazy kidnapper left something behind this time," Yoh said. 

Ren sighed and gave in, deciding that fighting them was pointless. As the five dressed and began to leave the cabin, Silva walked in. 

"You got away from the kidnappers?" Ryu shrieked, hugging Silva. 

"He was never kidnapped, you idiot," Ren mumbled, running his temple. 

"Ren's right, I wasn't kidnapped," Silva stated, pushing Ryu away, "but I did realize something. Today is the second Tuesday of the month!" 

The group stared at him blankly. 

"Don't any of you remember what happens at midnight on the second Tuesday of every month?" 

"Urm . . . free taco night?" Chocolove suggested. 

"No! Opacho rises from the lake!" Silva exclaimed. 

"And?" Hao asked boredly. 

"And he is a great, all-knowing monster that can tell us where our troopmates are!" 

"How do you know that? There's a note on the wall in the mess hall that says that everyone has to be locked in their cabins with the lights out by nine thirty on the 'monster's night out,'" Ren replied, quoting part of the flier. 

"Well, it's all legend, but legend is worth a shot," Silva said. No one objected to this statement. "So it's decided. Tonight, we go in search of Opacho." 

. 

". . . What are you doing?" 

Lyserg and Manta looked on blankly as Horo dug fiercely, scratching at the dirt floor of their cell with a plastic spoon. 

"Be quiet! Don't interrupt a master's thoughts!" Horo shrieked at them, pausing his motions momentarily. 

Manta gestured to the dirt ceiling above their heads and reasoned, "But we're underground. Why are you trying to dig even further down?" He shut up when Horo glared up at him and growled. 

. 

Much later that day, Troop 69 was cramped into one canoe, floating upon Lake Happy Pants. They were all glad to be out of their cabin; they had been hearing odd scratching noises and faint voices coming from under the floor all day. Silva told them that it was the deceased past members of Troop 69 digging out of their graves, which wigged them all out quite a bit. 

"It's eleven fifty-five," Silva announced as the glanced at his watch. His troop stared out at the lake expectantly. Before long, the surface of the water began to ripple. 

They all watched in awe as giant spotlights emerged, followed by a platform. They barely caught a glimpse of Opacho atop it as the rushing water tipped their packed canoe upside down. 

After floundering in the waist-deep lake for a minute, all six troop members managed to get ahold of the flipped canoe. Opacho hopped down to join them. 

"Hey, Opacho." Hao greeted him with a wave of his hand. "Long time, no see." 

Before Opacho could say anything in reply, Silva bowed his head as much as possible without hitting it on the canoe's bottom and said humbly, "Oh, great Opacho, we seek your guidance! Our troopmates have gone missing. Can you tell us who took them and where they are being held?" 

Opacho looked around at the group before running in the direction of the mud pit. 

"After him! He's like a Jesus lizard; he's running on water!" Silva exclaimed. They trudged through the water as fast as they could, trying to catch up with Opacho. 

Hao, who had floated to the shore first, stood at Opacho's side as the rest of the troop members joined them. As soon as they all arrived, Opacho jumped down into the mud pit. 

"Follow him," Silva insisted, pushing Yoh in after Opacho. The boys all followed, leaving Silva up on the surface. 

Opacho stood in the pit for a second, then began poking at one wall. Said wall, after being prodded a few times, collapsed to reveal a large tunnel that led under the lake. 

"Ah ha! So everything begins to unravel," Silva shouted from above them. 

"Aren't you coming with us?" Ren asked, crossing his arms. 

"No, I just remembered that I have an important staff meeting to attend. Do good! See you guys later," Silva said over his shoulder as he ran off in the direction of the mess hall. 

"Lead on, Opacho," Hao stated, not allowing Ren any time to vent. Opacho began walking, leading them through the dark tunnel. After a few minutes passed, they spotted a light. 

"They've been underground this whole time? Wow, that sucks," Chocolove voiced. 

As the closed in on their destination, Opacho turned to leave. 

"Thanks, buddy. Later!" Hao smiled as Opacho headed back up the tunnel. 

"Okay, game plan. We run in, scream, and take Lyserg, Horo, and Manta back. Got it?" Yoh asked, looking around. They all nodded, deciding that there was no better way to get their friends back. "On three." 

"1 . . . 2 . . . 3 !" Yoh, Ryu, and Chocolove ran into the room screaming. Ren and Hao followed, neither opening their mouths. 

"What are you doing here?" came an angry voice near the door. A collective gasp sounded from the first three boys as they turned to find Marco behind them. 

"Just know that I believed you the whole time," Hao assured Ren, who seemed to be fuming. 

"Ah . . . so it was the X-Laws!" Yoh exclaimed. "We shall defeat you and take our friends back." 

Yoh, Chocolove, and Ryu got into battle positions and moved forward. As they were about to strike, Marco collapsed to the ground with a loud thud. Behind him stood a grinning Hao. 

"One kick to the back of the knee. Man, I thought he could last at least two or three." 

"Victory!" Yoh cheered. "Now to rescue our teammates!" 

They turned to face the opposite wall, on which there were two lone doors. Without any thought at all, Yoh opened the one on the right. 

Inside, they found a large group of X-Laws collectively worshipping Jeanne, who was at the front of the room in her Iron Maiden. 

"Oh . . . sorry," Yoh muttered as they paused their worshipping to stare over at the boys in the doorway. He shut it quietly, and they moved on to the other door. 

They walked into the next room to find their kidnapped troopmates all looking quite distressed. Or, at least Lyserg and Manta did. Horo was concentrating on the three-inch deep hole he was digging in the ground. When their saviors entered the room, he glanced up from his project, and a grin spread across his face. 

"Ren! I knew you'd come save me!" Horo cried, launching himself at Ren, who reluctantly allowed the other boy to hug him. 

Meanwhile, Ryu was latched onto Lyserg, who was glaring hatefully at Hao as he made a snide comment. 

The moment of reunion was disrupted, however, when a booming noise rang through the tunnel, causing everyone to look around wildly. 

"That sounded suspiciously like the bottom of the lake caving in," Hao noted calmly. Upon listening more closely, he added, "And that sounds even more suspiciously like rushing water." 

Within seconds, a tidal wave of the smelly lake water had surged through the tunnel and into the cell. It swept them up and tossed them against the wall. Somewhere in the helpless confusion, someone hit the ceiling, which proceeded to crumble and reveal a layer of decaying wood planks. 

"Alas, an escape route," Hao pointed out, reaching up to grab one of the board and rip it off. Once that one was wrenched away, the others also gave way, leaving enough room for Hao to pull himself out. 

As he stood up and brushed himself off, he observed the room the hole had led to -- Troop 69's cabin. 

"How ironic," Hao said smugly. 

One by one, the others managed to heft themselves through the opening. They looked at their surroundings and sighed. 

"So, that's where those creepy noises were coming from," Yoh stated thoughtfully. 

At that moment, Silva entered the cabin. He stared at his troop, all of whom were dripping water everywhere and stunk horribly. 

He asked, "Well, who did it?" 

"The X-Laws." 

"Ha! I knew it the whole time," Silva scoffed. Ren looked as if he could kill someone. "Anyway, now that we're all back together, we can start training again! The big competition's coming up, and we have Nichrome's butt to kick." 

Remembering to tell Silva about their lack of a lake at another time, Yoh, Hao, and the rest of the crew decided that sleep would be the best option at that point. 

. 

**a/n .** Hey, it didn't take us a month to update for once. Go us. Is there anything else to say? -thinks- Oh, check out our Live Journal -- livejournal . com /~thehineygods. 

Oh, and we're starting a community over there in which we review really bad Shaman King fics for humor purposes. I'm still working on the layout and stuff, but if you want, you can apply for membership by instant messaging me at **kittykatz22** or Becky at **beckiboo13**, or by dropping us an email at **thehineygods@yahoo.com** or **patch_maize@hotmail.com**. If you can understand this fic enough to find it funny, then your chances of getting in are pretty darn good. Join today at livejournal . com /~patch_fiction! =D 

Next update is whenever. 


	10. The Long Awaited Ending

** disclaimer . ** Not ours. 

. 

**"Camp Happy Pants"** Chapter Nine . The Long-Awaited Ending 

. 

Training began early the next morning. Silva woke up his troop with a bright greeting. "Good morning, boys!" he shouted. Yoh started and rolled out of his bed. The rest of the guys looked around groggily before actually getting up. They all skipped the hole in the floor, got dressed, and moved out toward the mess hall. 

"So, are we going to beat Nichrome?" Silva asked, surveying his newly reunited troop. 

"Yes!" Horo cried in reply. He pumped his hands into the air and jumped, then paused and scratched his head. "At what?" 

"The end of camp competition," Chocolove supplied. Horo nodded vigorously as they entered the mess hall. The first thing they heard was an obnoxiously familiar voice loudly retelling a story. 

"And that's when I said, 'Hey, I didn't know the moon was made of cheese.' Then, he tried to punch me, but I kicked him and held him down while asking, 'Who's your daddy?' When he finally screamed my name, I let the sucker go." Troop Eight burst into applause as their leader took a bow and reseated himself at the head of their table. 

"We're gonna kick your butt! So there. Stick that up your hiney and twist!" Silva shouted, sticking out his tongue. As Troop Eight and his own crew stared at him, he tried to regain his composure. "Let's eat." 

After Silva had thoroughly embarrassed himself, Troop 69 sat down to eat. Halfway through the meal, 

Ren looked up to find that Horo was staring, open-mouth, at him. 

"What the hell are you staring at?" he asked, glaring angrily at Horo. 

". . . Ren, you're the bee's knees," Horo sighed in reply. 

Ren gave him a look then flared out angrily. "Bees don't have knees, you idiot!" As he jumped up to beat Horo to a pulp, Hao grabbed him. 

"I like what I'm seeing. Why don't you come with me to the . . . ahem, **bathroom** and let me help you calm down," he suggested, raising one eyebrow at Ren. 

"What's the matter with you people?!" the boy in question screamed. Not waiting for an answer, he stormed out of the mess hall, leaving a group of very confused bystanders in his wake. 

"Well, someone isn't getting any breakfast," Silva muttered. The rest of their time in the mess hall was spent in silence. As the troop began clearing their plates, Silva made an announcement. 

"I figured you all needed to have full stomachs to hear this," he said slowly, glancing at each of their faces. "Nichrome and I made a bet." 

"What kind of bet?" Lyserg asked warily. 

"Um... I told him that if his team wins, we can close the camp. But, if you guys win, the camp stays open another season, and I get to trade cabins with him." 

Yoh stared at Silva. "You own the camp?" 

"Well, no," Silva replied. 

"Then how can you tell him that you'll close the camp if he wins? If you don't own it, you can't close it," Ryu pointed out. Yoh and Horo nodded in agreement. 

"I may not own it, but a member of my troop does," Silva pointed out. 

"No, we don't. We'd know if--" Manta was cut off when he turned to see Hao with a smug look on his face. 

"I don't mean to brag, but I had the idea a few hundred years ago . . .," Hao gloated. 

Before anyone could remark, Silva motioned for them to follow him. 

. 

Ren watched as the rest of his troop approached him. He was standing next to the mud pit, which was the spot of the upcoming competition. 

"Okay, troop! We are down to the wire. So, starting today, we will be practicing in the mud pit from morning until night," Silva said. "Now, Horo and Lyserg, get in." 

"Yes!" Horo whooped as he jumped into the mud. Lyserg, who was less than enthused, lowered himself down until he was standing next to the already mud-caked Horo. 

"This is how it goes: You two will proceed to wrestle in the mud pit until one of you quits or collapses from exhaustion. Got it?" Silva asked. The rest of the troop nodded and Horo began jumping onto Lyserg. 

After a half hour of Lyserg running around the pit with Horo hot on his trail, he quit. 

"You have to build your endurance, Lyserg. That's the only way we'll win this," Silva coached. Lyserg just gave him an angry look and walked off to sit down. 

The rest of the evening was spent trying to outlast each other in the mud. Finally, Silva announced that the following match would be the last. 

"Hao, Manta, you two can show us what you've got." 

Before Manta even made a move to climb in, the mud pit was on fire. 

Silva sighed. "Hao wins by default." 

. 

The next few days were spent the same way. They practiced all day then went back to their cabin and slept. In the mornings, they were too tired to protest. 

The day before the competition rolled around a little too quickly for Troop 69. 

That morning, as Silva's troop shoveled the camp's suspiciously powdery scrambled eggs into their mouths, Ren had one thought on his mind. 

_Just a little longer._ He silently repeated what had now become a mantra. _We leave this horrid place day after tomorrow. Just a little longer . . . Just a little--_

Ren's thought process was interrupted when someone spoke up directly behind him. 

"Well, good morning, Troop 69. Having a good time being incredibly lame, as usual?" 

No one was surprised to find Nichrome standing at their table, a smirk on his face and his own troop behind him. Silva opened his mouth to insult his rival, but Nichrome beat him to it. 

"The tournament's tomorrow, as we all know, and my troop will so own your troop's lame asses," he gloated. As he turned to lead his troop away, he added, "Oh, don't bother trying to train this morning. We've got the pit, and we have a little practice match scheduled with Troop Five in a bit. You're welcome to come watch, though." 

With a devious grin, he exited the mess hall, troop in tow. Troop 69 shot each other wary looks before returning to their less-than-appetizing breakfast. 

A while later, the troop emerged from the mess hall. 

"We should go see what Nichrome's up to," Silva suggested, noticing the unsure expressions of his charges. "I've got a feeling it's not something good." 

And so, Troop 69 trekked around the bank of the now-empty lake, across the camp, to the mud pit. They arrived just in time to see one of the members of Troop Eight force the head of an unfortunate Troop Fiver into the mud. Said troop member held it there until the other kid stopped struggling anf just lay there. 

Nichrome cackled as his follower climbed out of the pit. With a haughty smirk plastered on his face, he gestured to the unconscious bodies of Troop Eight that littered the mud pit."I've made an example of Troop Five, as you can see. We'll be sure to do the same to you tomorrow," he scoffed. With that, he motioned to his troop, and they walked off toward their cabin. 

. 

Later that night, at the pretournament bonfire, Silva sat sadly on a log, idly poking at the fire with a stick. He didn't even hear Yoh approaching, and started at the boy's voice next to him. 

"What's the matter, Silva? We're going to try our --" Yoh's inspirational speech was interrupted when something exploded in the fire. 

Ren, who had been sitting across the fire from Silva and Yoh, nearly fell from his spot. "What the hell was that?" he demanded, looking around angrily. Beside him, Horo leaned toward the fire with a stick, poking at it until something rolled out. 

"The fish is ready!" he stated happily, rolling a charred can back to his seat. 

"Fish?" Ren asked suspiciously, turning his full attention to Horo. He glanced down, taking in the burned can with one of its sides blown off. "You were the one who caused that explosion, you moron?" 

"Well, the Jack Mackerel needed to be cooked, and the fire was the best choice," Horo replied matter- of-factly. 

"You could have taken it out of the can first!" Ren shouted. 

After seeing this exchange, Silva turned back to Yoh. "What were you saying?" 

"Uh . . . Good luck finding a new job," Yoh consoled, patting Silva on the back. 

. 

The day of the competition finally came. Silva had dragged his troop out of their cabin and all the way over to the mess hall at the first light of dawn. It was later in the morning that they found themselves standing near the mud pit, gazing off into the distance. 

"Just think," Hao began wistfully, staring at the little hut on the horizon that was the infirmary, "in a few hours, you'll be over there, having the limbs that Troop Eight ripped off handed back to you." 

Silva tried his best to be positive. "Don't talk like that! We're ten times better than Nichrome and his troop of sickeningly vicious, rabid, murderous . . ." He trailed off as he observed the looks his troop was giving him. "Maybe we should save ourselves a lot of pain and forfeit," he then sighed. 

"No way!" Horo piped up. "We'll beat Nichrome! Don't worry yourself over it!" 

. 

Troop 69, to say the least, had their sorry butts kicked into the next century. They had been slated to go against Troop Eight in the first round. Said round didn't last too long. 

Almost all of the Troop 69'ers lost horribly to Nichrome's crew. The only one who didn't meet a muddy demise was Hao, who won by default after setting the mud pit on fire. 

It was later, while Silva's troop was cleaning off and having their minor wounds treated at the infirmary, that their rival troop paid them a last visit. 

"What do you want?" Silva asked dejectedly, looking away from where Horo was joyfully wrapping a bandage around a cut on Ren's arm. 

"Oh, don't worry," Nichrome responded. "I just came here to gloat. We won, not that you would know after having your troop's mangled bodies toted off after the first round and all." He gestured to the trophy one of his troop members was holding near the door. "And you can't forget that since you lost - -" Nichrome emphasized this word happily. " -- we get to close the camp." 

As the got a good laugh out of this, the members of Troop 69 looked relieved. Truth be told, they definitely weren't disappointed over the closing of the camp. 

"Well, I guess we should go pack. Come on everybody!" Ren gleefully stated. He stood up, grabbed Horo's hand, and dragged him out of the infirmary toward their cabin. 

". . . That's the happiest I've ever seen him," Silva noted. The rest of Troop 69 nodded then followed Ren's lead. 

. 

Back at the cabin, each boy, minus Hao, packed their things and piled them near the door. Their spirits had been waiting for them in the cabin with 'sorry you lost, we still love you' presents. While most of the troop had been trying to hide how happy they were, Ren had been celebrating openly since he had returned. 

As Silva entered the cabin to tell them it was lights out for the last time, Ren was tossing jelly beans from the economy-sized bag in the air while walking circles around a singing Horo. 

"Celebrate good times! Come on!" Horo sang, happy to see Ren in such a good mood. 

Instead of making a speech, Silva just turned the lights out and left. 

. 

The next morning, everyone filed into their assigned buses and headed home. As Troop 69's bus pulled away, Horo turned back to watch the retreating Camp Happy Pants sign. While he watched, the sign fell to reveal an old plastic sign that had obviously been there for a while. 

"Caution: Land Mines," he read aloud. Ren turned to glare at him as he pondered the sign. 

"Shut up," Ren said. The rest of the trip home was spent in relative peacefulness. 

. 

A few weeks after the Camp Happy Pants incident, Yoh found him sitting around the table with the rest of the former troop, excluding Hao. He was sifting through the day's mail when he saw a conspicuously plain envelope with his name printed neatly on the front. 

Yoh ripped it open and skimmed the letter inside. "Hey, this sounds interesting. 'Dear Yoh Asakura, you've been selected to attend the prestigious Happy Pants Private Boys' Academy. The --'" 

No one objected when Ren snatched the letter from Yoh and tore it up. 

. 

** the end ! **

. 

** a/n . ** Well... it's over. We'd like to sincerely apologize for the super-long wait for this chapter (almost six months, right?). No excuses here, we're just happy to have finally finished it. Feel free to drop a comment on how lazy we are. Hope you enjoyed it. See you next time, folks. 


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